Thursday, January 21, 2010

Cougar Town Quotes (1/21/10)

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Last night's episode of ABC's Cougar Town starring Courtney Cox was chock full of funny quotes I thought deserved sharing.

Here we go (S.1. Ep. 13: Stop Dragging My Heart Around):

After Jules' husband Bobby is told he needs to move his boat (that he lives in):
Bobby: It's times like this I wish I owned my own parking lot.
Jules: Really? That's what you wish for?

As Jules' son Travis is going out for the night:
Jules: Be home by midnight, and don't forget our rule: do not wake me up when you get home.
Travis: Solid parenting, as always.
Jules: I'm a better mom with sleep...

Climbing into Bobby's boat:
Jules: You have any of that pink wine?
Bobby: I got white wine.
Jules: Well, mix in some Kool-Aid and make it pink. I've still got some white trash in me.

Laurie: It doesn't matter anyway, Grayson. Any chance you had with her is gone after the way you defiled me last night.
Grayson: Defiled you?
Laurie: That's... not a good thing?
Grayson: That... No!
Laurie: I've been using that word wrong, like, forever!

Bobby: Something stinks and I can't find it. I'm worried it's in my nostrils. Will you smell the inside of my nose and tell me if it stinks?
Grayson: At any point in your life have you ever said to yourself, "Hey, here's a thought I shouldn't verbalize"?

Next two quotes embedded below!

Jules telling frequent songwriter Grayson an idea she has on the phone:
Grayson: No Jules, I don't think 'Sex with the Ex' would be a great song... (hangs up)
Jules (to Ellie): That was odd, and he is wrong. That would be an AMAZING song. Hey, you wanna jam out some lyrics?
Ellie: What is with this stupid neighborhood and the song writing??

Laurie:
Hey, so, I did what I always do when I have a big dilemma: I thought it out while I got a tattoo.
Grayson:
A Chinese character! That's so creative! How did you think of that? What does it mean?
Laurie:
I thought it was the symbol for 'strength,' but it turns out it just means food. That's OK, though. I like food.

After coming up with a brilliant idea:
Jules:
I'm gonna write a book! And they're gonna put me on Oprah!
Ellie:
Oprah's retiring in like a year.
Jules:
Oh ya, and she's never gonna be on television again!
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Laurie (outbursts in the middle of a conversation):
It was raining! And REO Speedwagon rocks so hard!
Jules:
What are you talking about?
Laurie:
...What?
Ellie (pointing at Laurie):
Just do what I do and treat it like white noise.


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