Thursday, April 29, 2010

Cougar Town Quotes "Letting You Go" 4/28/10

Cougar Town is quickly becoming one of the most reliable comedies on TV right now. It is consistently funny week to week and every episode is full of hilarious quotes. In fact, for this episode, it may have been just as effective to post the entire script because everything was funny.

But here are my favorite quotes from episode 1.21 "Letting You Go," which aired Wednesday, April 28 on ABC.
Laurie: My boyfriend, Smith finished law school. He comes home today!
Ellie
: Wow, that is so... Jules, what's the word for "who cares?"


Jules: (looking at a glass with leftover win
e) You know what? I'm gonna drink it.
Grayson: It's 8am on a Saturday.
Jules: So? This is just like a mimosa! Except for it's got wine instead of champagne and no orange juice.

Laurie: That sounds delicious!

Jules: Mmm! Wine in the morning on weekends. Let's all think about it people!


Laurie and Smith are making out:

Laurie: I forgot how
smooth your teeth are!
Roger (Smith's dad): I'm glad you're home too, son. Forgive me if I don't eat your face.
Laurie: I'm sorry. I have a rule that every kiss must last at least three seconds. It's what the Obamas do.


After Smith accepts Roger's invitation to golf:
Roger: Well thank you. I know you'd prefer to spend your time letting her try to trick a baby out of you.
Smith: Dad, please...
Laurie: I'm
allergic to latex and birth control pills!

After Travis receives a college rejection letter:
Jules: How you holding up there, honey?

Travis: It doesn't feel great to get turned down by a school with four grammatical errors in their rejection letter.
Bobby: You know, I got into that school.

Travis: Cool, kill me.


Laurie: You see that guy over there? (Ju
les looks) Jules! Don't look right at him! (Jules looks again) I said don't look!
Jules: When I hear "don't look," I can't help but look! It's my most specific reflex.


After Travis gets accepted to two schools: Ellie: Wow! So it's either college 20 minutes away in Sarasota, or 20 hours away in California. Which one do YOU want him to go to?
Jules: Doesn't really matter what I want. It's his choice!

Travis: The weather is so good in California!

Ju
les: Ya, it also has earthquakes, and uhh, race riots. So you know, everybody just CALM DOWN!
Ellie: And there it is.


Jules tricks Travis into coming downstairs by pretending to be hurt:
Jules: Travis, help! I'm hurt!
Travis: Ya, I'm not falling for that again.
Jules: I'm serious this time! I've twisted my ankle. It might be broken!
Travis: (runs downstairs) Oh no, what?
Ellie and Bobby: SUCKA!

Travis: Great job, adults.

Jules: I just wanted to talk to you. How are you gonna decide between these two colleges? I mean, one is known as the jewel of central southwest Florida, and the other one's i
n a state where people lean out of their car windows and shoot you in the face.

Jules and Travis hug:

Travis: Let's not get weird.

Jules: If I could, I'd have them trim me down, so small... That I could (whispers) live in your blood!

Laurie: But drama is such a turnon! It makes my lady parts beep.
Jules: Would you rather be with someone emotionally stable or someone who, at game night, carves "die bitch" on the kitchen table because you think he sucks at Jenga?

Laurie: There are positives and negatives to both.

Jules: There really aren
't.
Laurie: I know. And, honey, I am sorry about your table.

Jules: That's OK. I added a T so now it says "diet bitch." So actually it's really helpful!


Jules is watching Travis sleep in his bedroom: Travis: Are you watching me sleep?
Jules: You don't usually wake up.

Travis: You've done this before?

THERE'S A MONTAGE OF ALL THE TIME'S ELLIE'S WATCHED TRAVIS SLEEP

Jules whispering to Ellie and Laurie in Travis's room: Leah, Joel, Alexis... That's only 7. Come on, we've gotta be able to figure out all 8 Gosselin kids.

Laurie: Jon?

Ellie: No, he's the creepy, disgusting, wants to be famous father...
Jules: OH! Collin!

Travis: Are you watching me sleep again?

Jules: When I squint, you look just like your sonogram picture!

Travis: Memories!


And the song at the end of the episode was "Something Beautiful" by NEEDTOBREATHE.

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I've Seen [Most of] Toy Story 3! (no spoilers)

THERE ARE NO SPOILERS IN THIS POST!

Last night I got to see the first 65 minutes of the third film in the Toy Story trilogy, and I was beside myself with excitement. It's been more than 10 years since Toy Story 2, arguably one of Pixar's finest films (even though they're all incredible), was released, but the gang is all back together in this extremely hilarious, and presumably final, take on the toys' story.

When I say it's hilarious, I mean it was really really funny. The movie is chock full of lines for adults (that kids will still laugh at even though they don't really get them), and the addition of many new characters adds a new life and humor to the story. Like I said, I won't spoil anything, but the character voiced by Michael Keaton (which you can see here if you want), really steals some spotlight in this one.

After the screening, I tweeted the following:Which was then retweeted by the director of Toy Story 3, Lee Unkrich:Which I thought was pretty freaking awesome!

But it really was epic beyond all epic and an action-packed Mission Impossible-like adventure (Woody is Tom Cruise in this one) that people will love.

It was especially special for me because I grew up with Toy Story. The first film was released when I was 8 years old, and even though I'm 22 now, this movie made me feel like I was just a little kid again.

OK I'm done gushing about it.

Oh, and I should mention that they raffled off a Buzz Lightyear toy just like the one in the films (spaceship box and all), and I did NOT win. Needless to say: I was pretty bummed, and it will take a while to get over it, but in time I will.

In time, I will.

The full film (which is being finished today, per @LeeUnkrich's tweet) is in theaters June 18 in Disney Digital 3D (and 2D)!

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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

American Idol Shania Twain Week - My Take


Well there wasn't a new episode of LOST this week so I thought I'd tackle that "other" show on TV Tuesday nights, American Idol. This week's theme is Shania Twain music and I contribute my own medley of Shania songs, and I sing the HECK out of it if I say so myself.

But you be the judge.

Enjoy!

Songs included:

  • Up
  • Don't Be Stupid
  • Forever and For Always
  • Rock This Country
  • I'm Gonna Getcha Good

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Friday, April 16, 2010

The Definitive List of Classic Movies I've Never Seen

Over the past 22 years of my life I have seen many, MANY movies. I couldn't begin to try to count them all. But it has come to my attention that while I may have seen a great number of movies, I have NOT viewed a number of classic films, which I should have seen, "if you are a human being," according to many of my friends.

In order to retain my status as a true "human being," I decided that I should set out to view these films. So I've made a list of the classic movies I've never seen, and I invite you to share your thoughts on them.

Back to the Future:Yes, it's hard to believe, but I've never seen this Michael J. Fox classic or any of its sequels. I would like to think that I have a pass on this one since it came out two years before my birth (1985), but still, given that it's an all-time favorite of many of my friends, it goes to the top of my must-see list.

The Sound of Music:It came as a shock to many of my musical friends when I mistakenly mumbled during conversation concerning The Sound of Music, "Oh... Ya, never saw that." The silence and tension that followed was palpable. I feel like I should see this movie, but it's nearly 3 hours long! I'm not sure I can handle that much "do a deer"ing.

Bambi:I think I never saw this one cuz my sister was scared of it when she saw it, and as a result, I never got to see it either. Alice in Wonderland and Old Yeller fall into the same boat. As a pretty big fan of Disney movies, the not-seeing of these films probably causes the most cognitive dissonance in me.

The Princess Bride:Don't know much about this movie other than that everyone I've ever known has referenced it at least once in conversation. Also never seen Ghostbusters.

Braveheart: My brother practically won't talk to me since I've never seen this, one of his favorite movies. I've also never seen Last of the Mohicans, which for the longest time I thought was the same movie as Braveheart. Whoops. Similarly, haven't seen Gladiator, Saving Private Ryan, or Schindler's List.

Terminator:Or any of the Terminator movies, for that matter.

The Silence of the Lambs:
I've never been one for really scary movies. I mean, the scariest movies I've ever seen are The 6th Sense and What Lies Beneath, which is why I haven't seen this or another classic, Psycho. I did see Paranormal Activity, however, and that was more laughable than scary, IMO.

Rudy:I know, I know, I'm practically not even American anymore. I've never seen this OR the classic Field of Dreams, but I have seen Remember the Titans and Angels in the Outfield, so that's basically the same, right?

So this, I believe, accounts for the most classic movies that I've never seen.

What do you think? Am I out of my mind? Have you seen all of these?

Should I skip any? (I finally watched A Christmas Story for the first time this year and it was a total snooze.)

Lemme know in the comments and at Twitter.com/AdamRucker

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