Thursday, February 23, 2012

SURVIVOR: One World - Total Dysfunction

OK let's be real. No one likes Alicia, right? Her "If I saw her swimming in an ocean and she was drowning, I'd probably look the other way," line was not only a terribly poor imitation of Sue's original "if you were dying of thirst, I wouldn't give you a drink of water," speech, but it also made Alicia look like a completely heartless mean lady. But I'm sure she'll give us many more examples of that as the season goes on, assuming she stays (and these people always do).

So to the business of the game: the survivors had a "do-it-yourself" reward challenge where the prize is a tarp (in other words, Jeff wanted to sleep in that day). They basically have to untie the world's biggest braided knot and remove a ring. The men win. Sorry for not being more detailed about it, but the challenge itself wasn't very interesting. It just kinda happened, and that's that.

But what's so great is that the men set up their tarp (with no help from Colton) and declared that their camp is probably the "best camp in history." Alright then! Meanwhile, Colton spends Most of his time at the girls' camp and is literally building their shelter with them. But the ladies don't necessarily want him just hanging out all the time. He becomes a "virus they can't get rid of," and they kick him out, but he keeps coming back (hence the "can't get rid of" bit)!

Colton calls a meeting with the ladies and announces that he has determined, after 3 days of being in the island, that he has "no one here" and wants to know if he can just live at the girls' camp...

What is in the water on this island? Why are people so freaking crazy? Oh wait! Colton freaking just showing some of the guys his Immunity Idol! Why on earth??? (I'm watching as I type.) Five minutes ago, Colton had "no one," and now he has an alliance, of which he is the head.

Immunity Challenge this week is an interesting one. The survivors have to stand on a balance beam and walk across one-by-one, making sure not to knock any of the others off. The best part was that you could only ever touch one other person at a time. If you broke the rules, you have to jump in the water and start over. This challenge really revealed that the men work very well together and that Kat is a completely useless moron.
Kat literally jumped in the water twice just for the heck of it. No other reason at all! The men were able to complete the challenge entirely before the women were even able to get two people across the beam. Colton better seriously reconsider his ridiculous desire to be on their team.

So it's probably between Kat and Nina (or "the walking dead," as Sabrina describes her) tonight at Tribal.

I mean, I would say it's obvious that Kat will go home, but people on the island are stupid so there's a huge chance Nina will go home, even if it's only because of her constant use of the word "witless."

Tribal gets off to a good start. It's always fun when Jeff says that any tribe is the worst in Survivor history. Nina immediately goes after Kat, challenging her to a "Life Experience Duel." Nina brings 13 years on in the LAPD and Kat brings "I'm outdoors a lot and I work in sales." Not a good pitch, Kat. I'm not buying.

Alicia opens her mouth again. This time she says it's embarrassing for her because women at home can't root for their tribe after their performance at the immunity challenge. Interestingly enough, she doesn't seem to be at all embarrassed by her earlier confession that she would willingly let Kristina drown. Alright then.

So the women vote. Jeff speedily tallies them. And Nina is sent home! Another win for the women's tribe!

Maybe CBS just didn't show us what Nina did to rub everyone the wrong way? Or maybe the tribe is just stupid...

I guess time will tell! The thunderstorm next week looks like a doozy. Can't wait!

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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

SURVIVOR: One World - Premiere!

It's a new season and finally a new setup! Gone is Redemption Island, and gone are the returning cast members looking for a little more time in the spotlight. Finally!

Let's get started.

When the castaways emerge from the truck bringing them to the island, we're quickly introduced to "Tarzan" and "Troyzan" (who wants to be the new Coach, btw), but we don't meet all of the castaways until Jeff announces how the tribes are split: men vs. women.

There's the typical "boys rule, girls drool!" banter back and forth between the tribes, but Jeff squelches that nonsense when he instructs the tribes to take as many supplies from the truck as they can.

The women end up with coconuts and bananas, and the men end up with everything else, thanks to island robber Michael stealing it from the women's pile.

So off they go to their camp. Men one way, women the other until... What is this? The men's and women's camps are the same! They're the same camp! The same. Camp! Salani and Manono in one place. I keep repeating because none of the survivors seemed to understand the concept.

But there's no time for understanding when there's wild chickens to be caught! After noticing a few chickens running around like their heads are cut off (but they aren't... yet), the men and women decide that they'll split the chickens 50/50, but one of the women catches them first and decides that, "Ya, prob not gonna give up the chicken to ya sorreeezzz."

Well, by golly, the chicken line has been drawn.

So the tribes get to work on their shelter, and Colton (or Country Club Colton as the women dubbed him), immediately strikes up a friendship with the ladies and flat out asks them to give him the clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol, should they find it. Alright then.

Well, you can see how basically this season is gonna be out of control crazy with alliances, fake alliances, backstabbing, and cross-alliance broohaha.

The men get their fire going first and the ladies come a' running. The women want to trade a chicken for fire, they want to steal the fire, and then eventually they offer to take off their pants for the fire. None of the offers are taken.

The girls don't want the fire for its practical uses. Instead, some of them say they just want the camp fire "setting," an "ambiance" if you will (well one of the girls wants an ambiance and another one of the girls doesn't know what ambiance means. Seriously). But the men do not give it up. No fire for you!

Until they wait for the boys to fall asleep and they go steal the fire. But the geniuses that stole it let the fire die in the middle of the night.

This is going to be a GREAT season!!

I don't want to judge people too quickly, but I can't stand Alicia. She reminds me of Natalie from BB11, and that's not a good thing.
So Sabrina looks in one tree stump and has already found the Hidden Immunity Idol... BUT it's only for the Manono tribe, and she must give it to one of their members before the first Tribal Council. She immediately says she'll probs give it to Country Club Colton, but we'll see if she follows through!

The first Immunity Challenge gets underway. It's a typical kind of obstacle course mess with a big bouncy net that leads to lots of fun, ridiculous crashes. None of them fall quite as gracefully as the trapeze people at the circus fall into their nets. But you win some, you lose some.

The mens are quick to get four across the balance beam and... Wait, WHAT? Someone's already injured?? What the Face?! Kourtney has "broken" her wrist, and they have to bring in medical. This is insane. They have to give her an x-ray and the challenge is over. Or is it?!

The men can take the win by forfeit, OR they can redo the challenge and give the women a chance to win the challenge.

So the men actually do the smart thing and take the win, much to the women's SHOCK and SURPRISE! WHY would you EVER do such a crazy thing?

One of the women put it very nicely, "They don't care... This is a no mercy game." Yes, maybe you've heard the title of the show. It's SURVIVOR. It would be pure insanity to not take the win when it is offered.

Back at camp, Sabrina gives Colton her Idol with hopes that he will work for her in the future. And Colton promises to take Matt down with it, using a line that he surely prepared before he got to the island for an occasion just like this, "We're gonna cut his throat faster than Taylor Swift will write a song about an ex-boyfriend."

The girls have to go to Tribal Council, and the obvious choice would be to ax Courtney, the girl who broke her wrist 5 minutes into the game. But despite this, Alicia pledges to call out... Oh, wait a second, Jeff just called her "A-lee-see-ah." I REALLY don't like her now... OK A-lee-see-ah pledges to call out Christina at Tribal, and she does, quite unnecessarily. Making a huge deal out of nothing and making everyone else hate her too.

Oh, DANG. Christina just goes, "Because you're WRONG. So SHUT UP." And Alicia responds that if they were in Chicago, she would punch Christina in the face. What on EARTH is happening here? There's a girl with a broken wrist! She's going home! Peace and blessings let's be done here.

And Jeff finally, mercifully reveals: Kourtney DID break her wrist, she IS going home, and no one else is. What a freaking let down. Thanks a lot, Kourtney. First episode and no vote at Tribal! Sheesh!

Still, it looks to be an amazing, ridiculous, dramatic season.

Let's see what's happening next week...

Jeff says the women fall apart, and Sabrina calls Colton a virus! Sounds perfect! Can't wait!

Who do you think will prevail in the end? Do the men vs. women "tribes" even matter, or will all the alliances be cross-tribal? Who do you love/hate?

See you next time!

Let's talk!

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Sunday, February 12, 2012

Phoenix!

I recently got to visit my friend Kristin in the great state of Arizona!

This is my one day adventure in the desert state. We had sushi at Geisha-a-Go-Go, brunch at the Rokerij, and spent the day at the PGA Waste Management Phoenix Open!

Enjoy!
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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Revenge: Perception ... Emily's Voice Overs

Show Open:

"Years ago, I met a boy who introduced me to a book: The Marriage of Heaven and Hell. In it, William Blake writes, 'If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite.' But in reality, our perception is often clouded... by expectations, by experiences... As of late, I find my perception is blinded by only one thing: revenge."

Show Close:

"Truth is a battle of perceptions. People only see what they're prepared to confront. It's not what you look at that matters but what you see. And when different perceptions battle against one another, the truth has a way of getting lost, and the monsters find a way of getting out."

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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

What if we said this about people?

I saw this on the projector I used today... Here's to hoping my "useful life" is very long!

Dear Adam...

I wrote myself a note today. It's not that I'm mean per se, it's just that I can probably work on being a lot nicer.

And also I need to pick up milk from the store.